The Sword and the Rose
by dragonSpired48
Summary: Shakespeare, sengoku style! Romeo and Juliet. I promise not as lovey dovey as you might imagine. and this is told in modern english :D


**The Sword and the Rose**

_**Inuyasha set to Shakespeare!**_

**DISCLAIMER:**

**I don't own Inuyasha mourns As maybe you can tell I am utterly OBSESSED. (see my profile page). And I don't own Shakespeare. Obviously. **

By the way: I wrote this two years ago and rediscovered it.Fun.

Anyway, if you're reading **Romeo and Juliet** in class and haven't got the faintest idea of what's happening, this could help you. Of course there are exceptions. For example in the real **Romeo and Juliet** Benvolio and Mercutio are both boys and would not be flirting with one another (like Sango and Miroku here). Comprendan? Good. :-P Please enjoy!

**CAST**

**MONTAGUE**

Romeo: Inuyasha

Mercutio: Miroku

Benvolio: Sango

Lord Montague: Sesshomaru

Lady Montague: Kagura

_Extras_:

Yura

Hiten and Manten

Bankotsu

Jaken

CAPULET 

Juliet: Kagome

Tybalt: Naraku

Nurse: Kikyo (alive)

Lord Capulet: Ranma yes I know he's not in _Inuyasha_, but hey, he's a Takahashi creation!

Lady Capulet: Midoriko

_Extras_:

Spike, Stripe (Koga's two wolf friends, I can't remember their names)

Shippo

Hojo

Souta

Kohaku

Rin

**NEITHER** Prince: The God-tree, Goshinboku 

Friar: Old Kaede

Paris: Koga

**Important: by the way, everyone's demon power is diminished because otherwise the fight would be unfair. Specific examples are in my author's notes ((A/N)) in the story. Ok, go ahead!**

**Warning: later chapters may contain explicit stuff in terms of language and violence. Possibly. Also there is character death…but there's a surprise outcome that the poor people in Shakespeare's version didn't get!**

ACT I SCENE I

It was market day in the little fiefdom of Japan, and many villagers bustled about. The air was filled with shouts, squawking chickens, children's laughter, and women gossiping. A few high-ranked servants were walking about, casting a cool eye on everything. Two of them, Spike and Stripe, talked together and leaned on a pillar by the meat-kabob seller's stand, staring hungrily at the food.

"Spike," said Stripe, "Let's not just stand here."

"No, for then we should be as watchdogs."

"And we're wolves. So it's not fair."

"Fair indeed would be the day to see the dogs behave themselves."

"You speak of the Montagues!" said Stripe. They laughed together at their own wit.

"Ay, I speak of them indeed. I would strike quickly, being moved to do so."

"But you don't strike quickly, Spike."

"I would if I saw one of the Montagues. I'd have my sword out and–" he patted the rapier at his hip– "and–"

Stripe snorted. "Peh. You're only moved to run away, coward."

"What?" yelped Spike. "I would ram down the walls of the Montagues, maid or man!"

Stripe sniggered. "Hah that shows how weak you are. Don't you know the weakest go to the wall?" He giggled at his play on words.

Spike struggled for a moment with his temper, then said, "Fine, it's true. Therefore women, the weaker vessels, are ever pushed to the walls. I will push Montague's men from the walls and push the maids to the wall."

"Damn it, talk sense!" Stripe snarled, angry at not being able to keep up with Spike. This was their game, keep the wit going until someone couldn't think of a good answer. Stripe hated to lose. "Besides, I have no problem with Montague's wenches. I fight only the men! Heh! I will be a tyrant! I shall have the maid's heads!"

Stripe gulped. "Their heads? You mean cut them off?"

Spike grinned playfully. "The maid's heads, or their maiden-heads…take it in what sense thou wilt!" (((A/N: when Shakespeare/Spike says maiden-heads, it is a play on words: he is saying he will take off their heads or take their virginity. Way to go Shakespeare)))

Stripe growled. Now _he_ was losing the game of wit. "Bonus points to me for using fancy language," cried Spike.

Stripe pouted, then grinned. "Well well! Look over there, past that villager with the chickens! Look!"

Spike looked, then gasped. "Wh-wha—what? What are Hiten and Manten doing here!"

"Hnn. Doing what we are doing, I suppose. After all the market is common territory–"

"But–"

"Hsst! Listen, display your claws. Here they come!"

Strolling casually by the stalls and crowds of the villagers, the two demon brothers Hiten and Manten were both wearing the red and black garb of the Montague house. Hiten had his hand on his sword, and Manten had his lightning spear haughtily over one shoulder. They looked nonchalantly around, glancing at the fluttering chickens, the pretty village maid in charge of the chickens, etc. Then Manten's eye caught sight of two wolf-demons, with their green-and-blue tunics over their black outfits. Their eyes locked.

"Look, Hiten," said Manten under his breath. "Two Capulets. Be on your guard." Hiten nodded.

Both parties swaggered toward each other, no one breaking the staring contest.

In a voice so low only Spike's wolf ears would catch it, Stripe muttered, "I will back you up!"

Spike growled softly back, still swaggering forward, "What? You mean you'll turn your _back _and run?" He felt pleased. He won that round of wit.

Stripe licked his lips slowly, trying to seem just as cool as Spike as Hiten and Manten drew nearer. "No fear!"

Spike inwardly rolled his eyes, thinking, 'Oh, I _do_ fear…fear that you'll turn and run!' but he said nothing.

Stripe said, again in the very low voice, "Hey! I know. I'll bite my thumb as they walk by! Let's see what they do to that!"

Spike replied, gritting his teeth and praying that Stripe wouldn't say anything to make them look dumb in front of the Montagues, "Fool, you'd only start bleeding. In Japan biting your thumb is not an insult! But...doing _this _is!"

He let his eyes slide away, breaking eye contact just as Hiten and Manten were about to pass them in their swaggering walk…and made a gesture, that, in any country, in that era, meant _fu-- you_!

Hiten stopped dead in his tracks, pivoting slowly around as the wolf pair continued swaggering along, whistling innocently.

"Manten," he said loudly, "did that wolf scum just flip us off?"

Spike stopped too and turned around. "Speaketh you of me?" he said in an angelic voice. "I made a hand gesture, true."

"But at us?" said Hiten, daring Spike to say yes.

"Well…I made a hand gesture," Spike stalled 'cleverly'. "It's not against the law you know."

Spike nodded and looked with upraising eyebrows at Hiten. "What, you want to make a big deal of it?"

"No! Of course not!" mimicked Hiten in a sarcastic voice.

Spike shrugged as though he had nothing better to do. "Well if you want to fight…I'm ready for you. After all I serve a better man than you!"

"You liar!"

"Hey, Spike," whispered Stripe, "say 'yes better!' Here come Sota and Hojo! They can back us up, we can fight Hiten and Manten off!"

Hojo and Sota could be seen, meandering in the crowd around an apple-selling cart not far away.

Spike's eyes glinted and very melodramatically, he threw his chest out, posed, and said, "YES, BETTER!" in a loud voice.

Hiten roared, "You lie. Sesshomaru is twice the lord that Ranma is!"

"YEAH? IF YOU'RE A MAN, THEN _DRAW!_" shrieked Stripe, loudly so that Souta would hear him. In his excitement his voice went up several octaves, and on "draw" he practically squealed.

"Haha!" laughed Manten, "we are not men, FOOLS! WE're real DEMONS, maybe unlike you two pathetic excuses for demons! Come on, Hiten! It's time to hunt!"

"YAAAAA!" they all yelled and charged at one another.

Hiten pounded Stripe on the head. Spike had Manten in a headlock. Who knows where it would've gone when–

"Hey!" said a powerful voice. They all looked over, and saw a beautiful and sinewy woman standing, angrily putting a hand on her kimono's waist. Her hair was down and loose, unlike usual, but her other hand lightly held an enormous boomerang. "Sango-sama!" cried Spike with relief. Sango was strong, she could help them out.

Manten nodded coldly. "Sango-sama."

She acknowledged his nod. "Manten-sama." Then she glared at them all. "Stop this fighting. The Prince has ordered us to–"

There was a sudden dimming of the sky. The midmorning sun was suddenly being blocked by a large cloud, and a light wind chilled everyone. "Oh no," whispered Sango to herself. She could sense his demon aura coming up almost right behind her. She spun around, leaving everyone standing frozen behind her.

Naraku was standing in front of them, a cold smile on his lips, letting his baboon cloak slide from his shoulders onto the ground to reveal his blue-and-green robes. The cloud still hovered above the sun, and a chill fell on all of them. Sango glared with utter loathing at Naraku, but contained herself.

"Well, well. Is this Sango…sama…with her hiraikotsu?" Naraku began to draw his sword, icy hatred dancing in his eyes.

"Naraku…sama," she answered tauntingly, putting the same pause between his name and the respectful honorific. "As you can see, I am merely keeping the peace." She grew serious. "Sheath your sword!"

He laughed softly. "Keeping the _peace_?" he scoffed. "I see your weapon at your shoulder! And you talk of peace? Come and fight me, tajiiya, and look upon your death!"

He kicked aside the baboon skin and leapt at her. She sprang away, furious.

"Hiraikotsu!" she shouted, throwing the boomerang to block his sword's attack. As he, snarling, retrieved his sword, she grabbed at the kimono and tore it off. Spike goggled; but she was wearing her fighting gear underneath!

"I knew there'd be trouble!" she shouted. "So I come prepared, Naraku!"

"Feh!" he hissed back. "Prepared to die, though?"

Manten whipped his blade towards Naraku, ready to help Sango with her opponent. "Oh no you don't!" shouted Spike, and he leaped forward, slashing at Manten with his claws. 'I may not like Naraku,' he thought, 'but he is my kinsman! We Capulets have to stick together!'

"Manten-anchan!" roared Hiten, racing after Spike. "Don't you touch my anchan!"

"Spike!" cried Stripe. "I'll save you!" He bit Hiten in the back of neck.

The fight was on!

Villagers screamed and tried to get their belongings out of the way as the fighters smashed through the chicken-stand (chickens flew everywhere cackling in fear), the apple-cart (apples rolled and were squashed underfoot), the garment racks of a knitter's stall (Hiten was wearing a pullover on his nose)…the villagers fled out of the way, and once safely at a distance, started throwing rocks and shouting. A few more Capulets and Montagues, drawn by the commotion, raced over to pitch in on the battles with angry and yet eager shouts.

Soon there was so much noise that it reverbrated on the stone walls and off houses, reaching the castle-mansions on opposite ends of the town.

"In the village!" cried Lord Sesshomaru's adopted daughter Rin at the Montague House. "Fighting!"

"Listen!" shouted Kohaku, Naraku's page boy, in the Capulet Hall. "There's fighting in the village next to the town!"

At once, House and Hall emptied. Men and demons grabbed their fighting gear and raced away, dashing through the deserted town (all the townspeople had gone to market in the village, which lay on the outskirts of the main town) and into the dusty village.

There were shouts and screams and insults and battle cries echoing and pounding around. Through all the tumult Lord Capulet, Ranma, could be seen whirling and shouting as he judo-kicked everyone in his path. Midoriko, his wife, was purifying demons, (((A/N: in my story, Midoriko can cause lesser demons to go unconscious when she purifies them, not kill them right off. That would be unfair))) causing them to go unconscious. Lord Montague, Sesshomaru, was starting to transform into a ten-foot-tall white demon dog–

"STOPPPPPP!" The Prince Goshinboku's tolling voice rolled out over them all. Villagers stopped throwing their rocks. Chickens stopped fluttering madly. Hiten let go of Shippo's tail. Kohaku caught his chain-sickle. Sango grabbed her hiraikotsu, Ranma ended a triple-spinning kick by landing one-handed on an apple cart, Manten gulped back his "lick of fire" (((A/N: he can't make those huge fireballs in this story!))) before it could singe Stripe again, and Midoriko looked up from knocking out a rat demon that was biting her dress. There was a ringing, shamed silence.

"WHY DOES THIS FIGHT DO ON? DID I NOT COMMEND PEACE UNTO EACH OF YOU?" The great voice rang out sadly and yet angrily. (((A/N: the caps are not to signify shouting. It's because the tree has to say all this from over by the well :-D )))

The tree's voice carried magically to all of them, even though it sat rooted a mile to the west, by a well-shrine. "YOU MUST ALL STOP THE FIGHTING. WHY CANNOT THERE BE PEACE AMONG BROTHERS? LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS. RETURN HOME. THERE WILL BE A SHIKON CURSE UPON THOSE WHO FIGHT FROM THIS POINT ON!"

Silence. All of them felt a little embarrassed, like kids caught hitting and slapping over the last soda. Hiten dug a toe into the ground, and Spike's eyes were downcast, cheeks red.

"NOW GO. THAT WAS THE LAST WARNING…" The voice faded.

Slowly the crowds melted away, still silent, even the chickens. Like water draining after a flood, the chaos of people parted, helping the villagers to clean up and then slinking sullenly back to respective Montague House and Capulet Hall.

A young man named Miroku walked nonchalantly along, kicking a stone and whistling very softly. He looked utterly untroubled on the surface, though he was chewing his thoughts over as he walked along the dirt path by himself. He had caught sight of the whole thing from above the marketplace on a hill, coming back from Lady Kaede's shrine, just before the Prince tree ended things. He had seen Sango (wow, and what a sight!) and many others he knew in the melee…but…

But…where was Inuyasha? Miroku couldn't find him anywhere.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author's Note: PLEASE review and tell me if you like it. If no one likes it, I will discontinue it. Personally I think it's fun to combine Shakespeare and Inuyasha, but if no one likes…well, I have a lot of homework (I'm a junior in high school). Also maybe would _Midsummer Night's Dream_ be more fun to read? I'm considering a_ Midsummer Night's Dream_ one too.

EXAMPLE: a look at the real thing

Here is a part where you can see how the play relates to the fic. I think it's funnier that way!

Sample Shakespeare dialogue 

CAST:

Hermia: Kikyo

Lysander: InuYasha

Demetrius: Koga

Helena: Kagome

Puck: Miroku

Oberon: Inu-taisho

Titania: Midoriko

Bottom:

(other actors: Myoga, Mushu, Grandpa, Hojo (Flute)…)

Hippolyta: Kagura

Theseus: Sesshomaru

Egeus (Hermia's father): Onigumo

Philostrate (butler person): Jaken

Fairies: Rin, Kohaku, Shippo, Sayo, Kanna, Sango


End file.
